Dating 1st year sobriety
Without that sense of identity, it is all but impossible to form balanced, healthy connections with other people.
Being involved with someone for whom that possibility also exists greatly increases the chance of the two people falling back into the same habits – only this time, together.
It can mean missing out on parties, it can mean being forced to cope with life’s struggles and challenges stone cold sober, and it can also mean being alone.
quotes a 26-year old former heroin addict as saying that “getting sober is pretty lonely.”The apparent cure for the loneliness is often sought in likeminded people.
Even for people who aren’t using anymore, and who consistently work the program, there is an unconscious identification with other addicts, to the point of seeking out romantic or sexual partners with substance abuse problems (either borderline or full blown).
Part of the draw comes from the feeling of relapsing without actually doing it; a psyche that is still too strongly tempted by addiction can rationalize anything, including staying with a partner (or multiple partners) who are using drugs.