Dating across class lines
Evolutionary psychologists contend this is an inherent sex difference arising out of sexual selection, with men driven to seek women who will give birth to healthy babies and women driven to seek men who will be able to provide the necessary resources for the family's survival.
including a 2012 analysis of a survey of 8,953 people in 37 countries, which found that the more gender-equal a country, the likelier male and female respondents were to report seeking the same qualities as each other rather than different ones.
I’m an adult in a world which I have not been equipped to understand. And now the last cornerstone of who you are is being taken to personal task, as the person you love is someone who will only ever half-understand you.“It wasn’t until I began dating someone genuinely middle class that I became aware of quite how much of a division there is culturally in class and how difficult that is to bridge,” says George.“Little rituals or behaviours that were seen as the done thing to the person I was dating were things I’d never encountered in my day to day life and my lack of knowledge of such things was treated as a stick to beat me with instead of being understood.“I found quite often that my being working class was something that was fetishised when it suited but something that wasn’t accepted as a mitigating circumstance when it led to an issue,” he adds.
It’s a different world, it’s a different life, and so many of us have to fold our identities into it, in spite of ourselves. Of course, being upper class, or even middle class, isn’t just about money.
However, the Vedas cite an example where one such exception was allowed: when the daughter of Sage Shukracharya, Devayani was allowed to marry a Kshatriya king (lower caste compared to Brahmanas in the Indian caste system) named Yayati.
You’re stiff in the outfit you picked out, but it was the right thing to wear, you think.
It’s a strange life, being a working-class person dating an upper-class one.
Of course, no-one knows what they’re signing up for when they fall in love. It’s a vulnerable state of being where people attempt to put their most beguiling selves out there to see if another person likes them.
Maybe your hand is clasped in someone else’s, maybe they’re already mingling with people in the vibrant folds of the room — their art form. The life you have read about is your own for just one minute.
Loving someone may come naturally to you, but you never knew what you signed up for — neither of you did.