L has been sending me a myriad of text messages since last week, and I’m curious to meet him in person and find out if he’s a sociopath or just very honest. a.m.: He’s wearing glasses and has a glass of rosé in front of him in the window seat.I outweigh him by approximately 24 pounds and have at least 24 times as much hair.And yes, they are delicious, but I am fucking hungry, and I don’t care about stars or small bites of food. We are slightly drunk, and when we arrive, there are firetrucks and sirens and smoke and a crowd of people standing on the sidewalk. A man stands with his dog, watching the scene, and I bend down to pet him. I understand because I feel the same way. p.m.: We make the trek to the party empty handed and up a large hill. p.m.: I introduce L as my friend and grab us beers from the bathtub.I want something with substance—meat, a steak, a baked potato dripping with butter and cream. p.m.: We detour to go to a market in North Beach for wine. He asks the hostess for a cigarette and thinks it’s funny to pretend the Holocaust didn’t happen.
Our friend was sitting in the front seat, clearly trying to salvage things by asking Madison questions, and keeping her interested in things, but trying to get her to talk was a lost cause. I also tried to smooth it over by pretending I hadn’t screwed up and acting normally, but that didn’t do anything for her either.
It may have something to do with the wine we are drinking from short plastic mugs.
I ask for sweatpants. p.m.: He quotes an internet meme but doesn’t acknowledge it as such and tries to spin it as his original joke and then begins throwing books at me.
It also flashed through my mind that if we started going out, I would have to warn my friends that Madison’s voice was different than you might expect, so be prepared. It was like she was avoiding talking so the focus wouldn’t be on her voice.
I couldn’t believe how fast I had messed up the date. Based on how quickly her face had changed, from smiling and saying nice to meet you, to totally flat and dead-eyed, I assumed that someone must have said the same kind of thing to her before.